Stop, Connect, Breathe

Some days are easier, and some days are harder. Being in love with now, when it's 4am and you have a very unhappy baby, is a harder day. When you're other baby wakes at 6am and they both decide that's it, you're up for the day, well, that's not so great either. I do love my sleep!

Being awake that early, can set the tone for the day and it certainly felt like it. A long morning nap helped, but there was still a sense of the day escaping from me. After a slightly manic period in the afternoon with lots of boisterous boys, throwing of toys and generally feeling like the day wasn't going quite right, I decided it was time to stop.

I was feeling disconnected and a little bit cross. As much with myself as with them. This is not the mama I would like to be. I want to be fun, happy, joyful, and relaxed. OK, not always how it feels but good to aspire to. I knew I needed to make a change.

I stopped. I did some big, deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Relaxed my shoulders. Got out the new books we had bought the boys at the weekend. The boys love books, even if they haven't completely got the hang of caring for them yet. It was a Julia Donaldson book all about counting. We sat down and read together, counting the animals and the butterflies. We connected. And after, the boys sat down and read books on their own for a bit. Stop. Connect. Breathe. And make a change. Change starts within.