Meditate on joy (or, how to enjoy getting ready for a trip with twins)

As I said, sometimes worry can get in the way of anticipating a much longed trip. Especially when you have twin boys and they are still in the buggy and you want everything to be just right.

Phew. Just right is a big expectation on yourself.

This morning I have been thinking about the balance to the practical side I talked about yesterday. I'm actually pretty great at the practical side, even though I worry I forgot something, or it won't be like I thought, or... (insert your own worry about your trip here).

Here is my list of non practical things to do to look forwards to your trip away:

Breathe. 
Get out of your head and into your body, slow things down and take a break from getting ready, even if it's just for a moment.

Ask yourself "What is essential?"
List all the things you have to take. Make sure you have room for those. For us at the moment that includes familiar things which will help keep the sense of routine going in a new environment. It includes lots of snacks. It includes more changes of clothes for the boys than number of days we are away for!

Ask yourself "What will make this easier?"
This may be asking for some help. Or doing your research in advance to make your trip easier when it is happening. Such as, what is the access like for a buggy? Are there high chairs available? Where is the closest small food shop?

Remind yourself of past successes
You've got this. You really do. Look at all the times trips went well in the past. And even if they were stressful or didn't go exactly to plan, I bet you handled it just fine.

Meditate on joy
Focus on the positive emotions you want to feel and display. Get out of your own way and create a space for you to enjoy both what is coming and what is here now. How can you make preparation more fun? What will it take to ease yourself gently into the trip?

Slow down
Sometimes it feel like the faster you move or the more stressed you feel, that must magically help things get done. It doesn't. Even if you physically have to move fast (for instance because you are on a deadline), try to slow down your breathing and remember you're nearly there.

Some trip mantras:
I slow down to enjoy the magic of preparing for this trip
I breathe and let go of all my worries. We have all the essentials we need.
All will be well.
I focus on a trip of ease and pleasure.
I slow down to connect with the people I share my trip with.

Worrying about how it will go, doesn't get the packing done.

When I'm getting ready for a trip, sometimes now it feels like there is an endless list of things to prepare. Practically, this is OK - I love making a list (and often a spreadsheet if there is a big enough project involved).

I like to know that I have all I need for the trip to be a success. Often I find that my own expectations of being prepared can get in the way of the lead up for the big event. It can be a fine line between being prepared, and being stressed and worried that you have everything, exactly everything, that you will need for the duration of the trip.

In this stage, I often forget to love the now and just focus on what could go wrong. I think it's good to be prepared, but not so it stops your enjoyment of today, and reduces that sense of magically anticipation of what is coming. 

I need help at this. I need help at letting the worry go. At focusing on the fact trips in the past have been a success. That even when they haven't been, it has still been OK. We've managed it. Most things these days can be bought at a later point. It helps to have someone who recognises this behaviour in you and who says, "Stop. Slow down, Breathe". Come back to the action later, take some time out and regroup. Basically, let go of the worry. It doesn't help you pack better or faster!

Take time to transition

Today I set up for some painting for the boys. I was all ready. We had paint, we had wipes (essential!), we had brushes, we had bubble-wrap for making shapes. 

We had a lovely time painting. At the end, when I thought we were done, one was happy to finish and take his painting overall off. One, not so happy - in fact a full crying fit until we went next door to the living room and calmed down. I hadn't transitioned from one thing to another with enough intention - I was too focused on finishing off and not on how he may feel that the fun was ended. 

I did this again later in the day. On a Friday we need to lunch and then get out of the door to go to nursery. Usually, the boys end up napping before lunch which means I then have to wake them, give them lunch straight away and then basically get them ready to go. Again, one wide awake and ready for lunch. One was happily sleeping and turned over. I hadn't allowed a transition time. 

When I make space between activities, it usually feels better for all of us. A smooth transition for me is enough time. There is a plan of how we move from here to there. It is calm. 

I create space to transition peacefully.
I know what comes next.
I am filled with confidence.
All will be well.

Slow down, listen and observe

Yesterday I went to a talk on language development in the 0-3 age range. One of the most important facts I took away is how our relationship with our children is the foundation to language. What we hear is just the tip of the iceberg. Slow it down, mama. Apparently it can take up to 8-10 seconds for a little one to process what you say to them. How often do we stop, breathe, and leave that gap? 

As a first time Mummy, I suspect it's more true that I need to fill in the gaps. To prompt conversation. 

It feels like a transformation, if I can just remember it. Eye to eye, listening to what is said, seeing the magic of learning happening in front of my eyes. 

I think this could be a more connected way. I'm excited to try it.