Painting with the toddler two (Twin Tuesday)

One thing I've started to realise recently is that I'm not so good when our days are totally unstructured. The boys are at a stage where most of their toys seem to end up hidden in various places - thrown behind the fireguard, the sofa, the table, the door...

One of the things I am starting to do is some more loosely structured activities with them at home on days where we aren't out and about. This way I feel that there is more impact and meaning to the time we have together. One of the things we have started doing is some arts and crafts time together. Although we have only had a few sessions I thought I'd share some of my tips which seem to have made it easier for us all. After all, it's supposed to be fun!

Use a happy time slot
Start your art slot at a time when you know your little ones should be fairly happy - fed, changed, not too tired. 

Keep it short
I've found that for us all to be happy, activities which don't need either too much preparation time or require too much time at the activity work best. That way you don't get frustrated if they don't like the activity or it doesn't last that long, and they don't get fed up because they get bored.

Be realistic in your expectations
Don't set out thinking you'll be creating works of art! I've found the sessions have worked best where I don't mind what it looks like at the end (they are only 20 months old!) and we have just had fun with what we are doing in the moment. Focus on process, not outcome. Want to keep some of the art? Initial and date so you know who did what, and when.

Be prepared
Ooh, this is the big one! It helps if you have everything set up and ready so you don't have to go out of the room once you get started! Depending on what sort of painting or other craft activity we are doing this can include:

All the paint and paper we need for the activity

• Painting overalls
• Wipes/flannel
• Paper
• Any accessories such as stamps, bubble wrap etc, paintbrushes
• Sticky tape - I make little circles of bits of tape and use these to stick the paper we are working on to the table. You just need to be gently when you are moving the paper off the table not to rip it.

Be observant

Watch to see how the activity is doing. Spend time concentrating and praising each child for their progress. Offer help if it is needed. Keep an eye out for them getting bored of the activity and get ready to stop before they get fed up.

Prepare a transition

Tell them when you're about to get ready to stop. If you can, get them involved in tidying up, wiping up. Often I will have something else that we are going to do ready as the next thing, even if it is as simple as a sit down with a story.

Make a memory

Keep the best, sign and date them and pop them in a scrap book. I have a book for each of the boys with their name on front. 

Final tips

An extra twin tip someone gave me was remember they don't have to be doing exactly the same activity (although you know your twins to know if doing different things could cause more trouble!). If you think it is going to be messy then one could paint and the other could colour or do stickers.

If you want to get started but you are afraid of the mess, then using bubble wrap or a potato cut in half could help you - just dab them in a little paint rather than letting them control the paint pot!

I've always loved reading. I used to be able to read whole books in a day, (nothing too complicated!). Whilst I don't get time for that often now I still love to read a variety of books. And now the boys are really getting to the age where they are appreciating being read to. I think it is one of my favourite things. J is still eating books a little and we do have some rips, and although I encourage care of books

I suspect that this is a part of the rough and tumble of two boys the same age, both of who want to explore together.

I love it when we read together. We read to the boys at bedtime whilst they have their milk, and always read two books. One can be whatever we have at the moment, often a library book, and the other is always "It's time to sleep" as I find it such a lovely story, and it's a good routine for us. We can recite it pretty much from rote now.

One of our library books this week is "Hurry up and Slow down" by Layn Marlow, based on the Aesop Fable the Hare and the Tortoise. I love the story and how it's all about slowing down, and enjoying that precious time of connection reading can bring.

Now it's the holidays there are less things on round and about, so I'm also testing doing some activities around the books we are reading. Today we have been painting with potato stamps that I cut in the shape of a rabbit/hare and a tortoise. It was quick and simple to set up and the boys had fun.

We Rock Wednesday - Make a mama's day

I am connected to a wonderful group of twin mama's on Facebook. I don't know any of them in person yet they are my extended village. We share so much - what's happening, ask questions about what should be happening, ask for help, and advice and just share the plain wonderful. I am very grateful to be able to have some a wonderful resource.

Today I asked them what one great thing they would love to hear as a twin mama. We often hear "Phew, that looks hard", or " You've got your hands full" or "Rather you than me". I got a wealth of wonderful things that they would both like to hear and that they had heard which had really made a difference to their day. I'll be sharing a few of these over the next few weeks. 

You make it look easy.

I often don't feel like I make it look easy. I feel it looks hot, and sweaty, and a little bit late. Some of that may be true, and some of it is just my perception (pushing a double buggy plus two toddler twins does have all of the effect above!). Yet when someone takes that extra moment to see me, to see the effort that has gone in and to acknowledge it with praise, it makes my heart sing. It's a little bit easier to be in love with now, when you know the world is on your side.

We often feel like a swan, gliding in public view but paddling madly beneath the scenes. You make it look easy gives us confidence it's going right. That it's working. 
It tells us that getting out of the house was worth the effort.
It encourages us to try again tomorrow. 
Even on a day when it doesn't feel easy, and maybe on those days when you can see that it's taking us a little bit more effort than we would like, this simple phrase can breathe new heart into us.

We stand just a little bit straighter. We are heartfelt in our thank you's. 
You rock it mama, and yes, you make it look easy.

"We rock" Wednesday

I talked last week about naming my days. I’ve decided that Wednesdays will be “We rock Wednesday”.

I started this blog partly because being a mama can feel so hard. It’s a culture shock, suddenly having two tiny people who are completely dependent on you. And I want to write for twin mama’s out there who love having twins but who also know it can be tough. Two babies teething at the same time. Two learning to walk, learning the boundaries (potty training, eek!), getting used to the fact that that other child seems to be here A LOT! As I go through my own journey as a twin Mama, I want to feel inspired. I want to get the message out there that you CAN DO THIS. And, that you are doing this, even on days (or weeks) when it doesn't feel like you are doing it very well at all.

I want mama’s who are expecting twins to know even when it’s hard, it’s also so, so amazing. Most of the twin specific books I read when I was expecting just talked about how hard it was, and the early days, if anything just up to the end of the first year. They didn’t really cover how to get inspired as a mama. There is so much out there. Part of my blog and Facebook is to try and bring those two sides together- to share my journey as a twin mama, to put a mindful spin on the stage of life we are in right now (and hopefully in looking back over my own days, to get a little perspective) and to share both practical tips and inspirational thoughts and resources.

We rock. Whether we have twins, or one baby, or many babies. I’ll be reaching out to twin mama’s specifically as a twin mama, but we all shine in our own unique way. I think we can forget that when we are thrown into the deep end of being a mama, of completely changing overnight all we are used to.

As a coach, another thing I want to bring to the table is the element of positive talk, and focusing on what you can do and the changes you can make, that will give you results. Out of the maelstrom of those very early days, the seeds of who I was before I was subsumed into the cycle of bringing up two babies are slowly coming back to me. I can bring so much to this job of raising two men to be.

I can do it, mama. You can too. You rock.

Take a rest, mama

Some days you just need to stop and listen to your body. Today mine was gently calling out "Rest, sleep, slow down" to me. It's been a busy few days since the end of last month. We've had a trip away which broke our routine especially from a sleep perspective. I've had some time away, and the boys are always on the move (or so it seems). 

It's OK to rest. It's OK to stop. It's OK to ask for what you need.
Let it go, mama. The jobs will still be there. And you'll probably get to them all later. 
You'll be better for a rest. Give yourself permission, if you can. 
Even if it is just for a minute.

Nap when they nap.
If you can, grab some down time when your little ones are asleep too. They'll be sure to shout out if they need you!

Switch off.
Can't take a nap right now? Switch off. Your phone, laptop, TV, anything that makes noise. Enjoy a break in the silence. 

Take a breathing break.
Even if you don't feel like you have time for anything else, simply stop moving. Close your eyes for a moment. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. 

Give yourself permission.
Know that rest makes you stronger. Gives you the energy you need to do what you need to do. Give yourself a mantra that acknowledges what you need right now.
I choose to rest right now, knowing it gives me strength.
I stop and enjoy the sweet sound of silence. 
I breathe in peace and breathe out strength. I can do this.

Take a break, make a soul to do list

Sometimes it feels like all there is to do is chores. Lunch to make, clothes to wash, children to feed...
Make a new to do list. I need to do this more often.

Put down your list of jobs (it will still be there) and write a list of things you'd love to be doing right now that would chill you out, make you happy. Make them things you could actually do in the here and now between all the other things you still have to do (guessing you'll still have to do the other jobs).

Take some time just for you. Or to stop and reconnect with your littles. Breathe.
What would be on your list today?
Here is mine.
Have a hot cup of tea with my feet up.
Sleep when they children are sleeping.
Paint a picture.
Read with the boys.

Thankful Thursday

One of the things I have been thinking about doing for a while (inspired by Shawn Fink from The Abundant Mama Project) is naming specific days of the week. The idea is it helps add intention and inspiration to your week. I'm still working on all the rest of the days but I have Thankful Thursday. A while back we created a jar to pop in post it notes of things we have had fun doing, milestones or just those small moments which happen every day and you sometimes miss if you don't record them.

Last year I was really good at recording them and we had a lovely time on New Years Eve looking back at all the wonderful things that had happened in 2013. I've not been as good this year but now I'm going to regularly update the jar on a Thursday.

This week I am particularly thankful for:
A successful break away for our little family. Lots of memories made, a first visit to a "show" for the boys, and a long overdue visit to the relaxing Kew Gardens.
The lovely feedback I have had for the start of this blog and page.
A drive out in the car with the boys - a first step to getting more mobile.


What are you thankful for this week?