A change is as good as a rest - travelling with twins (We rock Wednesdays)

We're just back from a few days away. It's true, a change can be as good as a rest (a rest being something that doesn't appear that often when you have 23m old twins!) We were visiting family in Sussex and as I'm still not confident driving (and it was the Bank Holiday) we planned our trip by public transport. Travelling by public transport, when you have twins and a buggy, means travelling light, planning your route, and packing well!

We had a fabulous time. One of the good things about going away for a few nights is that even though you have the general looking after the boys type jobs that go with toddlers (nappy changing, feeding etc), it meant that some of the jobs didn't need doing. We didn't need to tidy up. We didn't need to wash up or cook, as we were out (or what we did was minimal as we were with family so sharing jobs). It's surprising just those few small things add up to make it feel like a break.

And the boys were great. Our journey to Sussex included the bus (our local train station has steep steps and no lift), the train, the London Underground, the London Overground, and another train! We kept them entertained with books that we had taken with us, and telling stories and singing. Not sure what the other passengers thought! 

Tips

• Make a list of what you need to take.
• Consider what you can realistically carry with you. We were lucky this time because we were visiting family that we were able to send some nappies and wipes in advance which saved us some room packing.
• Take some snacks with you so that you have something to eat on the way.
• Take small things to entertain - we have found stickers and small books useful, and we also saw other parents travelling using their iPad's or similar.
• Look out for places where it is easier to get onto the train etc, our local service has started marking on the ground where the disabled carriage is on the train which means a little more space (obviously we would have needed to move if a wheelchair came on). 
• You can check your route through London for disabled access which also helps if you are taking a buggy, with Transport for London. 

I'm a member of a fab twin group on Facebook and I was able to ask what good places there were to visit locally (without a car). This helped us find a local park with recommendations of where to eat too. 

The hotel were really great (we stayed in a Premier Inn). We had booked 2 travel cots in advance and here are some of my tips from our stay:

• If you have booked cots, call in advance to the hotel and double check that they have the booking for 2 cots if you are travelling with twins. (We already knew we could get two travel cots as we had asked on a similar trip earlier this year, but you could play it safe and call before you book to check procedures where you are going)
• Move things out of the way that you know will be fascinating - things like the bin, cables etc.
• Consider booking your breakfast time the night before so you can get a highchair (or two in our case) reserved rather than finding out in the morning they are being used). 
• Check what is included - at Premier Inn we found up to 2 children of a certain age could eat per paying adult breakfast, which although breakfast wasn't cheap at just under £9, it worked out good value when you included the kids breakfasts.
• Consider taking your own cutlery/beakers etc - often they only have adult cutlery and crockery. We used their teaspoons and small dessert forks although we had our own forks as backup. 
• Our breakfast came on hot, adult sized plates - we asked for a spare cold side plate and cut the food up and decanted it onto that.

Noticing what went well (We rock Wednesday)

Sometimes it's easy to spend all your time thinking about things which didn't go quite so well. Or that you planned to do, or didn't. We Rock Wednesday is my reminder to myself to give myself a break and to celebrate the good. It's all about an opportunity to spot and remember what is going well. Where we made progress.

As a family it's about us catching each other doing things right. It's a habit I'd like to get into. Often looking back we forget the tiny steps of progress we made. The little everyday things where we said "Well done!". The first time something was achieved. How it was improved.

Just this week:

• I've tried out a few new recipes for the family - some have gone down well with the boys, some not so well - but if I didn't try I wouldn't know!
• N has been so helpful to his brother - passing him his water when it was hot, shouting him when it is time to go to breakfast.
• J has given N a hug when he was upset. These signs of affection between brothers are so beautiful to see.
• I've managed to get some painting and some blogging done, as well as some tidying up at home. It's all a balance!
• We got the lawn mowed at the weekend before it rained so we can spent time outdoors.
• We have been out to twin group and have caught up with friends.

What have you noticed you have done well this week? Tell someone today something great they have done.

We Rock Wednesday - Make a mama's day

I am connected to a wonderful group of twin mama's on Facebook. I don't know any of them in person yet they are my extended village. We share so much - what's happening, ask questions about what should be happening, ask for help, and advice and just share the plain wonderful. I am very grateful to be able to have some a wonderful resource.

Today I asked them what one great thing they would love to hear as a twin mama. We often hear "Phew, that looks hard", or " You've got your hands full" or "Rather you than me". I got a wealth of wonderful things that they would both like to hear and that they had heard which had really made a difference to their day. I'll be sharing a few of these over the next few weeks. 

You make it look easy.

I often don't feel like I make it look easy. I feel it looks hot, and sweaty, and a little bit late. Some of that may be true, and some of it is just my perception (pushing a double buggy plus two toddler twins does have all of the effect above!). Yet when someone takes that extra moment to see me, to see the effort that has gone in and to acknowledge it with praise, it makes my heart sing. It's a little bit easier to be in love with now, when you know the world is on your side.

We often feel like a swan, gliding in public view but paddling madly beneath the scenes. You make it look easy gives us confidence it's going right. That it's working. 
It tells us that getting out of the house was worth the effort.
It encourages us to try again tomorrow. 
Even on a day when it doesn't feel easy, and maybe on those days when you can see that it's taking us a little bit more effort than we would like, this simple phrase can breathe new heart into us.

We stand just a little bit straighter. We are heartfelt in our thank you's. 
You rock it mama, and yes, you make it look easy.

"We rock" Wednesday

I talked last week about naming my days. I’ve decided that Wednesdays will be “We rock Wednesday”.

I started this blog partly because being a mama can feel so hard. It’s a culture shock, suddenly having two tiny people who are completely dependent on you. And I want to write for twin mama’s out there who love having twins but who also know it can be tough. Two babies teething at the same time. Two learning to walk, learning the boundaries (potty training, eek!), getting used to the fact that that other child seems to be here A LOT! As I go through my own journey as a twin Mama, I want to feel inspired. I want to get the message out there that you CAN DO THIS. And, that you are doing this, even on days (or weeks) when it doesn't feel like you are doing it very well at all.

I want mama’s who are expecting twins to know even when it’s hard, it’s also so, so amazing. Most of the twin specific books I read when I was expecting just talked about how hard it was, and the early days, if anything just up to the end of the first year. They didn’t really cover how to get inspired as a mama. There is so much out there. Part of my blog and Facebook is to try and bring those two sides together- to share my journey as a twin mama, to put a mindful spin on the stage of life we are in right now (and hopefully in looking back over my own days, to get a little perspective) and to share both practical tips and inspirational thoughts and resources.

We rock. Whether we have twins, or one baby, or many babies. I’ll be reaching out to twin mama’s specifically as a twin mama, but we all shine in our own unique way. I think we can forget that when we are thrown into the deep end of being a mama, of completely changing overnight all we are used to.

As a coach, another thing I want to bring to the table is the element of positive talk, and focusing on what you can do and the changes you can make, that will give you results. Out of the maelstrom of those very early days, the seeds of who I was before I was subsumed into the cycle of bringing up two babies are slowly coming back to me. I can bring so much to this job of raising two men to be.

I can do it, mama. You can too. You rock.