Today I needed the reminder that I Am Enough. I am. I'd planned a day out for family to our local seaside fair and had the right wristbands for the boys to go on a range of rides. We were recommended by the person fitting the wristband two rides to go on. One was a small kiddy rollercoaster. We went on it....the boys would not recommend it! After that, pretty much all the rides we went on, they weren't happy about. That one big ride at the start had taken the shine off things.
I had mummy guilt. I learnt a lot about myself today.
I learnt when I plan things I want (expect) them to go well. I learnt today I can't always control that outcome.
I learnt a recommendation from an adult, isn't the same as trusting my Mummy intuition that even though it says the ride is OK, it may be best to start small.
I was reminded what a great community of mama's I belong to around the world - people I know, people who are in the same situation, and people I know only because we have linked on social media through similar interests.
From this great community of women I learnt even more. I learnt:
- Instead of beating myself up about what didn't work, to celebrate the fact I am enough - I tried to plan a lovely, fun day out for my boys.
- It's all trial and error - what they hated today, they may love in a year. Or even tomorrow.
- I learnt I'm not the only one to try this particular thing, and have it not work out. I guess somewhere, there will be someone in the same boat feeling the same feelings. Knowing that doesn't necessarily always help, but it adds to a feeling of relief and helps you to move on.
Finally with the wisdom of all this I was able to say, I am enough. I tried today. I will keep trying tomorrow. My day is more than this one moment that didn't go how I planned. I can let go of what didn't work and keep the memories that make me smile. Otherwise, I really haven't learnt anything at all.
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